What I Write About

This week I have been adding labels to my blog posts. I'm not sure why I haven't been doing it until now. In the label cloud on the right you can see all the different topics I have written about over the past few years.

I haven't finished yet, I'm up to 2008... I was surprised that I have only written 151 blog posts in the last 4 years but it is taking a very long time to label them all!

Is My Brain Being Rewired?

I've noticed lately that my attention span is shrinking, I get increasingly bored when I have to do something for more than 2 minutes at a time. I sometimes even struggle to watch a half hour, not very intense, TV show, which means trying to concentrate on important things like sermons and conversations with friends is a real feat.

Some would say that perhaps it's "baby brain" I've heard that can stay with you for years and years after pregnancy and kids and there probably is some truth to that. It's definitely hard to concentrate on a conversation when Aston is in the room wanting attention or doing something he shouldn't.

I mentioned my problem to Stuart who suggested that part of the cause may be due to my constant iPhone usage. I love my iPhone, it has so many fun apps on it I don't ever have to be bored, I can even play games with my friends who also have iPhones, (Words with Friends is a favourite at the moment).

According to this article by Nicholas Carr, as you spend time jumping from one thing to another on the web, a computer or iPhone your brain rewires itself to get used to quick topic changes and notice distractions. This is great when you need to find something quickly on the web but not so good if you need to read and concentrate on a big slab of text. This article in the New York Times says that only 3% of people can effectively multitask and actually process what they are taking in. They profile a guy who is always on his computer, iPad or iPhone and is so bombarded with information he forgets things and has missed really important emails and messages - I felt quite sad reading about him and his family.

So, I think it's time to take some action, I've come up with a few ideas to decrease the jumpy-ness of my iPhone usage, feel free to add suggestions.

1. I won't use my phone or the computer while eating with Aston, or when he's in the bath, or when I've said I will play with him
2. I've turned off the push notifications for my email, Facebook, eBay and Words with Friends
3. I won't use my phone while watching TV (unless it's live TV and there is a really long ad break - which doesn't happen often as we mostly watch things that have been recorded).
4. I will read long articles and blog posts slowly, I've noticed that I often skim read and my eyes rush to the end of the page before my brain has really taken in what I've read.
5. I think (although I haven't completely decided on this one) I shall deactivate my Twitter account
6. I will embark on an intensive Facebook friend cull
7. I will try to only check Facebook on my phone every 2 hours
8. I have started a Bible Reading Plan, that means I will read the whole bible in a year, to do this I need to read 2-3 chapters at a time so hopefully as well as getting to know God more I will also be increasing my ability to concentrate

Well, this was a long post but I managed to concentrate for the whole thing. Perhaps writing it while procrastinating at work made concentrating a bit easier (sorry Paul).

So much to do so little time...

It's actually not that true, generally I have enough time in which to do the things I need to do but often I feel like I don't.

Today I spent a lovely morning with some of the other married girls at Barneys 715 Congregation in my backyard, it was fun and I really enjoyed it. However I did spend a fair bit of yesterday and this morning stressing about all the things I had to do and wishing I didn't have to get up early and entertain people.

I was particularly stressed about not spending the morning studying for my exam on Tuesday, which must be why I have only done an hour of study in the last 4 hours. (Why must I procrastinate so...)

So now I am sitting here, after checking my email, facebook, ebay and all my friends blogs, blogging because every time I begin to study I am overwhelmed by all the things I don't know and feel I should know, or maybe it's all the things I do know but am not sure how to express in a way others will understand and will get me marks. I don't think I used to feel this way at uni.

I have a little voice inside me that tells me all I need is more time and to work harder and then it will all be good. But then the other little voice tells me there is really no point, more time and work won't help me understand - it's just all too hard.

Individualization

Your Individualization theme leads you to be intrigued by the unique qualities of each person. You are impatient with generalizations or “types” because you don’t want to obscure what is special and distinct about each person. Instead, you focus on the differences between individuals. You instinctively observe each person’s style, each person’s motivation, how each thinks, and how each builds relationships. You hear the one-of-a-kind stories in each person’s life. This theme explains why you pick your friends just the right birthday gift, why you know that one person prefers praise in public and another detests it, and why you tailor your teaching style to accommodate one person’s need to be shown and another’s desire to “figure it out as I go.”
Because you are such a keen observer of other people’s strengths, you can draw out the best in each person. This Individualization theme also helps you build productive teams. While some search around for the perfect team “structure” or “process,” you know instinctively that the secret to great teams is casting by individual strengths so that everyone can do a lot of what they do well.

Responsibility

Your Responsibility theme forces you to take psychological ownership for anything you commit to, and whether large or small, you feel emotionally bound to follow it through to completion. Your good name depends on it. If for some reason you cannot deliver, you automatically start to look for ways to make it up to the other person. Apologies are not enough. Excuses and rationalizations are totally unacceptable. You will not quite be able to live with yourself until you have made restitution. This conscientiousness, this near obsession for doing things right, and your impeccable ethics, combine to create your reputation: utterly dependable. When assigning new responsibilities, people will look to you first because they know it will get done. When people come to you for help—and they soon will—you must be selective. Your willingness to volunteer may sometimes lead you to take on more than you should.

Connectedness

Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life’s mysteries.

Consistency

"Balance is important to you. You are keenly aware of the need to treat people the same, no matter what their station in life, so you do not want to see the scales tipped too far in any one person’s favor. In your view this leads to selfishness and individualism. It leads to a world where some people gain an unfair advantage because of their connections or their background or their greasing of the wheels. This is truly offensive to you. You see yourself as a guardian against it. In direct contrast to this world of special favors, you believe that people function best in a consistent environment where the rules are clear and are applied to everyone equally. This is an environment where people know what is expected. It is predictable and evenhanded. It is fair. Here each person has an even chance to show his or her worth."

This is sooooo me! It even works backwards, if Stu buys his lunch I feel like I'm entiltled to buy mine - fair enough you say, if I buy my lunch I feel like he should be entitled to buy his (which is random because he doesn't really care whether he buys lunch or has a cheese and pickle sandwhich from home).

Just today I was having a conversation about double standards and how much they annoy me!

Harmony

"You look for areas of agreement. In your view there is little to be gained from conflict and friction, so you seek to hold them to a minimum. When you know that the people around you hold differing views, you try to find the common ground. You try to steer them away from confrontation and toward harmony. In fact, harmony is one of your guiding values. You can’t quite believe how much time is wasted by people trying to impose their views on others. Wouldn’t we all be more productive if we kept our opinions in check and instead looked for consensus and support? You believe we would, and you live by that belief. When others are sounding off about their goals, their claims, and their fervently held opinions, you hold your peace. When others strike out in a direction, you will willingly, in the service of harmony, modify your own objectives to merge with theirs (as long as their basic values do not clash with yours). When others start to argue about their pet theory or concept, you steer clear of the debate, preferring to talk about practical, down-to-earth matters on which you can all agree. In your view we are all in the same boat, and we need this boat to get where we are going. It is a good boat. There is no need to rock it just to show that you can."

This is so me... It's funny though how I would usually describe this part of me as a "bad thing" - Generally I would say "I like to avoid conflict" or "I need to get better at difficult conversations" I'm not sure I agree with the last couple of sentences though, I'm not sure why, maybe the boat analogy just doesn't do it for me... And I'm not sure if it's just productivity that drives me to dislike conflict, I think there's more to it than that.

I am not ashamed!

For those of you who are familiar with the book of Romans in the bible this post is not about the gospel... Although let it be said I am not ashamed of the gospel, I'm just not specifically writing about it today.

What I am not ashamed of is the fact that my 30th Birthday is just around the corner (see The Big Birthday countdown on the right).

At our first Bible Study for the year on Tuesday night we introduced ourselves to each other and for some reason it was suggested we share our ages... Very few people were willing to give their true age, there were a few 30-somethings (rare for the 715 congregation) and a couple of 20-somethings...

I've been thinking about it a bit lately, why are we afraid to admit we are older than someone else? Especially when in the scheme of things 30-something is really not old at all. I've decided to embrace the fact that I am older (and hopefully wiser) than alot of people I know and most of the students I work with. I've been alive for almost 30 years and that is an awesome gift from God!

What's been happening?

It seems like lots as happened since my last post... Things like:

Despinidic Family Christmas





Mum, Aunty Lyn & my sister Liz in my backyard on 15th December.









Holiday in North Haven


Stu and I outside of Burst *003 our home for a week.











Followed by Christmas and a week spent at Stu's mum's in Matraville.

Since then I have vacuumed, worked out how to sync outlook with google calendar, made 10 rather large turkey pasties, eaten a lot of ham, done way too much shopping and playing on the internet...

But that's what holidays are for!

I've also started reading a devotional book called 60 days of Praying for Purpose for Women (sounds corny I know) but it's helping me think about my relationship with God and how I "do" life which is something I always struggle with when I'm doing my personal bible reading so am looking forward to the next 58 days...

I Like Georgette Heyer

Especially on days like today when I am sick in bed, just found this you tube clip of Stephen Fry talking about his love of Georgette Heyer



Her son died last week, I met him in 2002 when I went to England on a Georgette Heyer fan club tour - we had a posthumous 100th Birthday party for her and he was there. His obituary is here.

My relationship with cooking

Most of you who know me have probably heard me say more than once that "I'm not good at cooking and I don't like it." Which, for the most part is true, however, every now and then I have a cooking splurge where I spend hours reading recipies and preparing food.

My most successful so far have been:

Christmas Puddings
Pumpkin Scones
Dahl

and hopefully pumpkin & ricotta conchiole and my favourite Greek dish pastitio (both are pasta bake dishes which I prepared tonight to cook tomorrow for lunch with my siblings).

The crazy thing is, I don't actually like pumpkin and it features in two of these dishes!

It took four hours tonight to cook pasta, pumpkin, mince etc and assemble it ready to cook tomorrow, hopefully the time & effort were worth it.

Diet, Exercise and Diabetes

On Friday I went to see my endocrinologist for my 6 monthly check up to see how my Insulin Resistance is going, usually that involves me stepping on the scales to see if I've lost any weight but this time he got me to do a glucose tolerance test the week before.

A GTT is very boring, usually you rock up to the pathology collection centre feeling very hungry (on account of having to fast since 8pm the night before) and needing to go to the toilet. Once there you give a urine sample and the nice lady takes some blood out of your arm and outs it into little tubes. Then she gives you a glucose drink to finish in the next five minutes and you go sit in the waiting room.

An hour later she takes more blood, puts it into little tubes and sends you back to the waiting room, an hour after that she takes more blood and sends you out to find breakfast, which by then is practically lunch.

The purpose is to find out how your body reacts to being fed glucose (sugar), and if it processes it properly.

Anyway, it turns out that my body has become worse at processing sugar than it was 2 years ago when I first went to see Dr Kidson. Which is a bit depressing considering I take 7 tablets a day and have worked really hard at eating right and exercising regularly.

To be truthful though, I have been a bit slack with the whole diet and exercise thing lately so now I have a reason to get back on track.

Why is it so important? Well, insulin resistance means that my body produces insulin in response to when I eat carbohydrates (a pretty normal reaction) but instead of my cells using the insulin to turn the carbs into energy they get confused and don't do anything. The end result is lack of energy, crazy reactions from a number of other hormones and overproduction of insulin which will eventually tire out the insulin producing cells in my pancreas and they will stop producing insulin altogether ie. I will become diabetic.

Exercise encourages my cells to use the insulin (sorry don't know why) as it should be used, it also burns up fat - fat cells produce hormones that affect how insulin is produced and used (again, my biochemistry knowledge doesn't stretch that far)- so getting rid of fat is good. Eating healthily ie. low GI carbs (and less carbs in general) means I don't produce too much insulin and eating less fat means I grow less fat cells.

Simple isn't it?

I am telling you this so that those who know me can help me eat right and exercise and so that those who don't know me can learn more about insulin resistance. Believe it or not, this is just a summary of what it means to have this problem, there are lot more symptoms and struggles I could talk about.

Anyway, thanks for listening, apologies to any endocrinologists, biochemists and others who are cringing at my poor scientific explanations.

Now I'm 29

I'm not sure what I was thinking here, perhaps hoping that mum wouldn't guess where I was hiding?

About 2 weeks ago I turned 29 (and would probably break the washing basket if I sat in it). 29 does not really feel any different to 28 or 27.

Hmm, as you can tell I don't really have much to say...