18 months of learning...

I am constantly amazed at the things Aston has learnt in just 18 months (well 17 months and a couple of weeks). He's gone from a squirming little blob like thing to an upright walking talking little boy!

It's his talking that amazes me most at the moment. Everyday he says a new word or two and he uses them in completely the right context!

Last week he found a straw in one of the kitchen draws and said 'straw' I've never heard him say straw before and I couldn't even remember the last time he'd even seem a straw! He managed to outdo himself the next day by pointing to a strawberry top and saying 'straw berry'.

The strange thing is that he seems to have forgotten his first words, he used to point at things and say 'look', now he points at things and says the word or, in the case of animals, makes the appropriate sound.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Barneys Seven Churches Walk

The Spires are walking to help rebuild Barneys! Our church has been without a permanent home for over 4 years!

Click here to find out more and sponsor us!

Time for a new look

Enjoy :-)

Aston learns to sleep

I thought after my last post I'd come back and update you on Aston's sleeping progress, amazingly he is doing really well! He now goes to sleep most nights within 10mins of being put in his cot without crying and sleeps until 5-7am! It's still quite strange but really nice.

So, what did we do?

I'd worked out quite a while ago that Aston's main issue was based around his sleep association with breastfeeding - basically, he didn't know how to go to sleep unless he was feeding. This meant I was feeding him to sleep, putting him in his cot and leaving the room without him realising. Every time he woke during the night he would freak out because mummy had disappeared, he was alone in the dark and couldn't get back to sleep without a breastfeed. To add to the problem this also meant he was afraid to go to sleep or be alone in his cot awake because every time he went to sleep mummy disappeared. This meant bedtimes were often 1-2 hours of crying, multiple breastfeeds and frantic rushing about (he refused to stay still) until he would eventually fall asleep on the breast completely exhausted, only to wake a few hours later crying for a feed.

After reading a number of books and websites, I tried so many different things to try and calm him before bedtime and stop him needing to breastfeed to sleep, a few methods would work for a little while but soon he would regress again. We got to the point where I was willing to give up on all my ideals and just let Aston cry himself to sleep.

Enter 'Dreambaby Guide' - I had seen the author Sheyne Rowley on Sunrise and she hadn't impressed me all that much but she made great claims about teaching babies to sleep without using controlled crying. I checked out her website, again, not terribly impressive but i decided to borrow her book from the library and see what she had to say.

The book is quite thick, possibly because she often repeats herself but I did manage to find a few things in it that seemed to make sense. The basic methodology is here. We haven't followed her method to the letter, her focus on routine is very strict and just doesn't fit into our way of life and I'm not convinced by a lot of the things she has to say about food and restricting breastfeeding.

We spent a few weeks (as long as it took to read the book) doing our homework which included:

• Using preemptive language and developing cues for Aston eg. "very soon it will be time to change your nappy/go to sleep in your cot" etc, being careful to use the same words every time ie. not "change your nappy' one day and then "get clean pants on" the next so Aston always knows what's happening next and doesn't get upset because he's happy playing and I pick him up and dump him on the change table with no warning.
• Developing independent play - helping Aston learn it was ok for him to be by himself in the cot or just playing with his toys. I use the cue "I'll be back" before I leave the room so he knows I am leaving and will come back. We spent time with him playing in his cot and leaving him for longer periods of time on his own.
• Creating a new bedtime routine, before each sleep we have a breastfeed, read some stories, (at nighttime we pray) in the lounge room then we go into Aston's room with the light off, shut the door, sing "Jesus loves you", put him in his cot, say our sleepy cues "close your eyes and go to sleep, mummy and daddy love you, nigh night Aston" then I (or Stuart) leave the room and shut the door.
• We also have a wake up routine, this helps to lessen confusion about when it's time to get up so Aston knows he won't be taken out of the cot every time he cries. He only gets to leave the cot after mummy says "Good sleeping Aston" and he plays on his own with his toys for a little while. (There are always exceptions of course but this is the general rule.)
  
• We role played his new routine with a teddy twice a day for a week, again so Aston was aware of what was happening and got used to the new routine.

Then we put it all into practice. I was surprised the first time we tried at how much crying there was, on my first reading of the book Sheyne made it sound so simple and easy, so i read the sections on crying again and reading between the lines realised I should have expected it. However, talking to others who have used controlled crying, the amount of crying we experienced was minimal. Throughout it all I was fairly confident that Aston knew what was going on and didn't feel abandoned by Stuart and I but it was still hard to hear him cry.

This article by Sheyne was quite helpful in putting crying in perspective. She says that as parents we need to teach our children that it's ok to express themselves and to deal with their emotions, if we run to them every time they cry they learn that they can't cope with life unless mummy and daddy are there to help, or that they shouldn't express themselves when they feel upset or angry because somehow it's wrong to cry. On the other hand if we leave them to cry when they are very distressed or hurt then this makes them feel abandoned and alone. It's all about assessing why and how they are crying and determining what to do next.

So almost three weeks after we have started this adventure, it seems to be working, the first night, involved about and hour of crying before Aston fell asleep and a few sessions of 10min crying throughout the night. Over the weeks the initial crying has gone and Aston can put himself to sleep easily. We've had a few nights of wake ups in the early hours of the morning, we've found that Sheyne's method of letting Aston cry and repeating his sleepy words doesn't seem to work - I think, despite what she says that he is genuinely hungry. When it does happen I've been giving him a breastfeed and putting him in his cot awake and he seems a lot happier. However for the past three or four nights he hasn't woken up and I'm hoping that will continue.

Now to find an appropriately cute photo to add to this post :-)

Sleep Baby Sleep

Tonight we have begun 'Operation Sleep Through the Night' in an attempt to get Aston, who is now one, to sleep for more than 4 hours at a stretch. Over the past year I have a lot of time to think about, research and observe baby sleep, something I didn't think I would ever need to do.

I've been trying to work out why it's such an issue, talk to any parent and they will tell you about the stresses and guilts that surround every thought and every conversation they have about how well or not so well their baby is sleeping. I'm not sure why it has become such a big issue in our western world.

It is one of the first questions you are asked when you reveal you have a small child who has just entered into the world. 'Is he a good baby?' 'Does he sleep well?' This is always followed by the slight pause where I try and decide if it's better to lie, downplay the fact that Aston doesn't sleep, or use his sleeplessness to extract pity and sympathy from whoever I'm talking to. If that person has a child of similar age it often feels as though there is some sort of competition to determine whose baby is the best or worst sleeper, (both of these positions gain points in someone's world but you earn no points for being somewhere in the middle).

As you are barely functioning in a sleep deprived haze, trying to cope with the pressure (or more often in my case, perceived pressure) of others expectations, you turn to the professionals for advice. Dr Sears, Pinky Mckay, Tizzie Hall, Elizabeth Pantley, Sheyne Rowley and more. Instead of clearing the haze, confusion and guilt, often this just adds to it. You should let your baby cry, you should never let your baby cry, co-sleeping is good, co-sleeping is bad, don't breastfeed your baby to sleep, do breastfeed your baby to sleep... And then there are the very helpful people who say it doesn't matter what you do, just do what's right for you and your baby. Um, hello, I was looking for help because I don't know what's right!

Having arrived at the point where we decided crying is not the way we want Aston to remember being put to sleep I believe we have tried almost everything. A belief that is reinforced every time I find a new baby sleep site online that tells me to: play music, co-sleep, put him in the cot awake, rock him to sleep, let him cry for 5mins, give him a bedtime routine, make sure he naps well during the day, etc etc.

One thing I do need to say before I go on is something most of the above experts agree on, despite the pressure you get from others, your baby's sleeping habits are not a problem unless you think they are. If you and our baby are able to cope with waking at night, co-sleeping, rocking to sleep or any other thing someone else thinks is 'wrong' then you don't have a problem. Unfortunately we have come to a place where we can not cope.

Tonight we started Sheyne Rowley's DreamBaby method, it's based on communication and seems to make sense, although following her method to the letter means a very strict sleeping and eating routine. She claims her method is not a 'crying method' but it does involve some crying, the difference being the amount of 'homework' done beforehand in order to establish boundaries, clear expectations, independence and confidence in your baby before leaving them to cry alone in their cot.

According to her definitions Aston cried 'angry', 'calling out' and 'settling' cries for around an hour before finally falling asleep. At appropriate moments I 'attended' to let Aston know that he was ok and I am confident he can fall asleep on his own. He missed 2 'sleep buses'* before finally catching a 3rd one and falling asleep. He woke an hour after falling asleep, cried an 'angry' cry for around 5 mins which became a 'calling out' cry for 2 mins until he caught the partial waking 'sleep bus' and required no 'attendance' from mummy. He has now been asleep for another hour or so since then.

Will it work? Who knows, I'm hoping and praying it does... I'll try and remember to keep you posted...

*Sheyne says when a baby is trying to self settle to sleep there will be brief periods of 3-8mins where it is easier for them to get to sleep. If they miss that 'bus' they need to wait 20 mins or so for the next bus to come before they can fall asleep.

Testing

I've downloaded a new iPhone app for blogging, hopefully it means I'll blog more often...

Let's see how well it works, here's a picture just for fun :-)



Aston in the kitchen of our new house with a yoghurt lid stuck to his head!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thankfulness

I am thankful I live in a country where:

• My father could obey God's calling to become a minister of a small church who could not afford to pay him and know that God would provide for his family's medical needs through our healthcare system.
• I was able to defer the very small cost of attending university so that I could concentrate on my studies and my ministry without having to work long tiring hours as well.
• While still a student I was able to receive emergency treatment after a car accident for free without having to stress about paying for a week's stay in hospital and various other medical expenses.
• A mentally ill homeless man who lived outside our church and repeatedly refused help received thousands of dollars worth of medical care after becoming seriously ill, his physical health was restored, his mental illness was diagnosed and now he is off the streets and a fully functioning member of society.
• One of my friends whose husband became ill and could not work was able to continue her ivf treatment under medicare and fall pregnant while her husband received the medical treatment he needed and was supported by the government while taking time off work to completely recover - he is now working full time again and they are expecting a baby soon.
• I can work in full time Christian ministry and know that even though I am on a low salary, God provides for me through medicare and family assistance payments, that enable me to take time off to look after my baby.

I am thankful I live in a country that cares about those who can not help themselves, I know the system is not perfect, that people fall through the cracks, that often the system is abused but far better that than for there to be no help at all...

Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. ¹⁶If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?

James 2:15-17 (the Bible)

Aston's Favourite iPhone Apps

So, it's never to early to introduce babies to technology - right? Particularly such cool technology as an iPhone?

Aston's love of iPhones happened kind of accidentally, it all started with iRisataBaby. While I was pregnant I was searching for apps that had something to do with babies and came across this one, it's a picture of a baby that laughs when you touch it, it was free so I downloaded it to see what it was like. When Aston was about one month old I showed him the baby and tried to teach him how to make it laugh, he had issues trying to touch the screen but he loved looking at the baby. Now he knows how to make it laugh and he laughs and talks to the baby in the iPhone.

Inspired by Aston's love of iRisataBaby I went looking for more noisy baby apps, his

newest favourite is Touch Teach Animal Sounds Lite in which you can scroll through cartoon pictures of animals and listen to recorded sounds. He really likes the monkey sound.

The other favourite app is Baby Activity Logger it's one of my favourites too, I'd be lost without it. I use it to keep track of Aston's eating and sleeping patterns, often my brain is too foggy to remember how much sleep he had last night or even when he last ate so being able to easily track it is really helpful. Aston likes staring at the log screen which has a cartoon picture of a bottle, nappy, baby and a moon, he looks at it and laughs. Stuart thinks he likes it because he associates it with food.

Aston has learnt that mummy's phone has lots of fun things on it and will often reach for it if he sees it lying around. iPhone play requires supervision though, as all fun toys must be tasted and drooled on - not sure my iPhone warranty covers damage from baby play...

It's been a while

Wow, Aston is now 4 months old - it feels like so much has happened and yet not much has happened all at the same time...

I have neglected this blog page, I seem to spend much more time on Facebook and Twitter than blogging, mostly because I can access them on my iphone whereas blogging via iphone is a bit more tricky.

Believe it or not I'm back at work 2 days a week and so far (2 days) it seems to be working. Aston gets to hang out with Daddy on Mondays and with Aunty Belinda on Tuesdays so he is happy. FOr more about my work with Credo check out my AFES page

Hopefully I'll come back and blog a bit more often...

Being a Mum

It's been 3 weeks and 3 days since Aston was born and I'm learning a lot about being a mum. In some ways it's incredibly normal and I can't imagine not doing it, in other ways it's pretty full on and tiring and scary!

The other night as I went to bed I said to Stu "I don't want to get up in the middle of the night" but the reality is I don't really have a choice, unless I want my child to cry and starve (I think you get arrested for that kind of stuff these days). And there's no way I could just lay there and let him cry, no matter how tired, sick or grumpy I feel there's something in your baby's cry that impels you to do something about it.

There are so many questions we have and decisions to make: decisions about when to feed him or what cream to put on his nappy rash, is it cold - should he wear a singlet? Should we use commercial bath products full of 'evil chemicals' or just water? We have moments where we both shrug and go "I don't know". If you know me, you know I'm not great and making decisions and I usually need someone to reassure me that I've made the right one - that doesn't always happen when you're on your own with a baby who is crying. Add tiredness into the mix and even the little decisions like should we use baby wipes or make our own out of cloth can become major moments of stress.

Stu's philosophy is "as long as you don't drop him on his head or kill him, it will be ok" which is true and I need to work hard on remembering that.

Now, to choose a photo to go with this post that shows off Aston's extreme cuteness!

Aston John Spires

Aston John Spires was born on Friday 20th March at 3.15pm. He weighs 4.4kg ad is 53cm long - Big Baby!

I went into spontaneous labour on Friday morning - no induction needed - praise God! I even managed to get through without pain relief, although Aston did need some help coming into the world with a little bit of suction to his head (not nice!).

So now we are at home learning how to be parents - very scary but fun!

The Latest

Today we are 8 days overdue! I didn't think we would last that long, obviously Jellybaby is not quite ready to enter the world of his own accord.

We had our 41 week "just-in-case" appointment yesterday at RPA and they are very keen to make sure babies are born before they hit 42 weeks, as a result we are booked in for an induction tomorrow morning at 7am.

I have mixed feelings about being induced, on one hand it's exciting to know that soon we will see our baby and the craziness and uncomfortableness of the last few weeks will be over. On the other hand, induction can be quite a shock to your body and the baby which can make labour a lot more intense and harder to deal with. Depending on what method of induction I end up needing, I may be strapped to a monitor for the whole time which means being unable to move around or use the shower or bath for pain relief - something I was really keen on doing.

I'm praying for calmness mostly, I know I can get very flustered when I'm in an unknown situation and would really like to feel a little bit in control and to be able to ask good questions and make good decisions.

Playing the waiting game

A week or so ago I was telling everyone that I wouldn't mind too much if the baby was a bit late... So it's now 4 days past due date and this waiting thing is getting a bit hard...

I have ups and downs, times when I'm patient and times when I'm not, I even have times when I forget I'm waiting...

Still waiting

but that's ok, he'll come when he's ready... Now I just need to find things to amuse myself so i don't get too bored with waiting!

In case you were wondering...

Yes, it is our official due date today... We are still waiting...

I have had a few prelabour-y things happen (I think) but nothing real yet... Stay tuned

Before and After

I found some photos of our unit that were taken before we moved in, when everything was empty and boring.

Before (left): our "old" front door and random foyer space

After (right): now baby's room (the new front door is in the lounge room)
















The other wall in the baby's room, this is the same cupboard as in the above photo but with a new coat of paint. You can also see the doorway into our room - nice and close.













Before (left): fireplace and wall space in the lounge room


After (right): The same wall space now with custom made shelves (by Stuart), you can also see the new colour on the chimney breast. You can't see the fireplace which now has the boards removed and nice new tiles on the floor in front to match the chimney breast.

38 weeks & 3 days

Here I am at 38 weeks & 3 days - only 11 days to go according to the countdown on the right... Assuming Jellybaby is born exactly on his due date which is not very likely...

So, what's been happening? I've survived 2 weeks of maternity leave, it's been both nice to be at home and not have to worry too much about work stuff and also hard because uni is starting and lots of exciting things have been happening. 250 people signed up to join small group bible studies - awesome!

I've also spent the last 2 weeks obsessing about and learning to drive - I had 2 driving tests and managed to pass the second one - yay, so now I have my red P's and theoretically can drive a car all by myself... I haven't actually been out by myself yet, I'm still a bit scared, but I will soon, I promise!


Time off has also meant time for organising Jellybaby's room, I've washed all the clothes, sheets etc and put them away - he has so many clothes already! They're so tiny, it's hard to imagine anyone would actually fit into them... I can't wait to try them all on him.


I made the cot up today, we've decided he will sleep in his cot from the beginning as the room is very close to ours - you have to walk through it to get to us. I know I've made the cot up all wrong for a newborn but the blanket and sheets are so cute I couldn't resist putting them on.

I've also started reading through Barneys prepared readings for lent I've never done anything for lent before. It's always been one of those weird Anglican/Catholic things that seemed old fashioned and unnecessary. But I decided that as I have time (at the moment anyway) and I havne't done anything structured in the way of spending time with God lately, that it would be a good thing to start.

It's been fun so far, we're reading Matthew and it's been good to read some of the things Jesus said and see them as part of the bigger picture of His life and ministry. It's also fun to know that there are a bunch of other people reading the same thing, hopefully we'll get a chance to talk about it together.

Well, this is very long post to make up for my lack of posting over the past couple of months - hope you enjoyed it!

Tagged

Katherine tagged me on her blog, so now it's my turn... I don't now who reads my blog regularly, except Ang but she's already done this... Maybe Deb or Jodi?

Here are the rules of the tag:

1. Grab the nearest book.

2. Open to page 56.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the text of the next 2 to 5 sentences, along with these rules.

5. Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual book. Pick the CLOSEST!

6. Tag others to do the same!

*****
"Yea," Henry said slowly, "He must be bound to me more closely yet."
"So, we march to aid him against his rebels, brother. Is that how it runs?"
"Maybe, maybe," The King muttered. "I can use him, I think. Yes, I have work for the Bastard."
*******
This is King Henry of France talking about an alliance he has with William of Normansy (aka William the Conqueror) in "The Conqueror" by Georgette Heyer

Goodbye Georgette

Yesterday my fish Georgette died, I don't normally cry when my fish die but yesterday I did. Possibly because of crazy baby hormones but also because she was the last of the original 3 fish we bought to start our fish tank just after we were married.

Five years ago we decided to actually do something with the empty tank we had and so bought Ellroy, Marlowe and Georgette, all Fantails. They got on pretty well together, to the point of laying eggs together (well, Georgette laid the eggs but we were never quite sure who the father was).

At one point we had around 40 baby fishies but it's very hard to keep tiny fish alive in a tanks and eventually only one was left, we called him Nemo. Now, once again, Nemo is the only one left.

This is a picture of Georgette (top), Marlowe (below her) and Nemo (the tiny one).

Brain in a whirl!

So much to do, so little time...

Only 7.5 weeks until JellyBaby's estimated due date 11th March! I'm staring to feel a bit overwhelmed by all the things that need to be done, work stuff, organising baby room/clothes etc, catching up with friends, much other stuff and learning to drive!!!!

I still have about 18hours to go before I can do my P's test... Anyone for a roadtrip?

To make matters worse, I don't seem to have started nesting yet which means if I'm tired and overwhelmed I'm more likely to sit and mope than get anything done. Although Stu seems to have picked up the nesting bug and has been having fun painting walls, making bookshelves etc. At the moment he's sanding an old bookshelf/cupboard thing we inherited when we moved in so it's ready to paint.

Oh well, at least I have a very organised to do list...

PS My friend Gail and I went to the aquarium on Thursday and saw the dugongs - they are really cool!