Is My Brain Being Rewired?

I've noticed lately that my attention span is shrinking, I get increasingly bored when I have to do something for more than 2 minutes at a time. I sometimes even struggle to watch a half hour, not very intense, TV show, which means trying to concentrate on important things like sermons and conversations with friends is a real feat.

Some would say that perhaps it's "baby brain" I've heard that can stay with you for years and years after pregnancy and kids and there probably is some truth to that. It's definitely hard to concentrate on a conversation when Aston is in the room wanting attention or doing something he shouldn't.

I mentioned my problem to Stuart who suggested that part of the cause may be due to my constant iPhone usage. I love my iPhone, it has so many fun apps on it I don't ever have to be bored, I can even play games with my friends who also have iPhones, (Words with Friends is a favourite at the moment).

According to this article by Nicholas Carr, as you spend time jumping from one thing to another on the web, a computer or iPhone your brain rewires itself to get used to quick topic changes and notice distractions. This is great when you need to find something quickly on the web but not so good if you need to read and concentrate on a big slab of text. This article in the New York Times says that only 3% of people can effectively multitask and actually process what they are taking in. They profile a guy who is always on his computer, iPad or iPhone and is so bombarded with information he forgets things and has missed really important emails and messages - I felt quite sad reading about him and his family.

So, I think it's time to take some action, I've come up with a few ideas to decrease the jumpy-ness of my iPhone usage, feel free to add suggestions.

1. I won't use my phone or the computer while eating with Aston, or when he's in the bath, or when I've said I will play with him
2. I've turned off the push notifications for my email, Facebook, eBay and Words with Friends
3. I won't use my phone while watching TV (unless it's live TV and there is a really long ad break - which doesn't happen often as we mostly watch things that have been recorded).
4. I will read long articles and blog posts slowly, I've noticed that I often skim read and my eyes rush to the end of the page before my brain has really taken in what I've read.
5. I think (although I haven't completely decided on this one) I shall deactivate my Twitter account
6. I will embark on an intensive Facebook friend cull
7. I will try to only check Facebook on my phone every 2 hours
8. I have started a Bible Reading Plan, that means I will read the whole bible in a year, to do this I need to read 2-3 chapters at a time so hopefully as well as getting to know God more I will also be increasing my ability to concentrate

Well, this was a long post but I managed to concentrate for the whole thing. Perhaps writing it while procrastinating at work made concentrating a bit easier (sorry Paul).

Who is in the tank? (2)

These little guys are Black Neon Tetra's they tend to stick together and seem to be a bit calmer than most of the other fish in the tank.





The majority of my fish are guppies, on the right you can see some female guppies swimming around, they are bigger and not as pretty as the male guppies. You can see a couple of male guppies in the photo below (sorry it's not a very good photo). They have big colourful fan tails and fins.



There are 16 guppies in the tank, 2
of them are babies - apparently female guppies are always pregnant! I hope these ones don't breed too often, I'm not sure my tank can cope with two many more fish!

My next goal is to take a decent photo of the two catfish and write a post about them. It may take a while as they are very good at hiding!

First water change

I've just performed a small water change, it's been 6 days since the fish were introduced into the tank and all the stats are looking good. Thankfully so are the fish! They tried to eat my fingers as I was holding the siphon in the water, it's a very strange feeling having fish nibble your fingers.

Fish stats
15/10
pH 10.4
NH3 0ppm
NO2 0.25ppm
Fish introduced

17/10
pH 9.6
NH3 0ppm
NO2 0.25ppm

21/10
pH 9.6
NH3 0ppm
NO2 0ppm
Water change

Ideally the pH could be a bit lower but 9.6 is ok, I'll keep an eye on it and see how it goes.

I think buying the used gravel helped in starting off the biological filter. Ammonia levels at 0 mean that the fish waste had been converted to nitrite. Today's nitrite level was 0 which means the second part of the biological filter has kicked in. Yay for bacteria :-)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Who is in the tank?

This morning I've been attempting to take pictures of the fishies - it's a bit tricky as I have an old digital camera that doesn't have a lot of settings to play with. I will gradually post some of the photos that look ok.

This little guy is a Southern Platyfish, he is the only one in the tank and is a funky red colour with a black splodge on his middle.

Fish - Day One

I set up the tank a few days ago, I was a bit worried that there wouldn't be enough time for the water to mature or cycle properly before I had to out the fish in. So, in order to help the whole process get started I bought some used gravel from the pet shop, the gravel should already be home to some of the bacteria needed to get biological filtration happening and give the tank a head start. I also bought a carbon sponge and added that to the regular sponge in the filter, the carbon should help to neutralise any toxic chemicals, a job the biological filter will do once it matures.

Above is the tank with no fish, the plant in the middle is a new addition today, it came from the same tank as my new fishies.

I think there are now 22 fish in the tank, most of them are guppies, 2 are really cool catfish (I need to do a bit of research to find out what types) and there are a few others I'm not sure of. Stay tuned for updates as I work out what they are.

Here are the fish in their bags waiting to be released. I let the bags float in the water for a while so they got used to the new temperature, then I put some of the water from the tank into the bags so the fish have a chance to get used to the new water.

Now they are all in their new home and hopefully happy. I don't have a photo of them as it's too dark to take one but I will upload one soon,

Fish!

Those of you who know me will know that I have a soft spot in my heart for fish, not eating fish, but any fish I can watch swimming around doing it's thing in the water. I have, at various times kept fish in a tank inherited from some friends years ago.

Earlier this year our last surviving goldfish Nemo died. Since then we have wanted to buy some more fish but haven't managed to her around to it. Last week one of my friends posted on Facebook that she had some fish that nobody wanted and she was thinking of euthanasing them. Knowing we had a tank sitting in the garage waiting to be filled again and not liking the thought of a few little fishies dying because they were unwanted, I offered to take them.

I thought it might be fun (and slightly nerdy) to document for you all the progress of my new tank of fish so, here goes...

Toilet training?

Today Aston asked me to change his nappy a number of times (even when it didn't need changing). He's never asked me to change his nappy before, usually he fights and protests when I suggest it but today he came up to me, said "change" and was quite happy to lie down on the floor and have his nappy changed.

We also had to change Baby's nappy.Baby is a Teddy that Aston has been treating like a baby- changing his nappy, giving him pretend baths, putting him to bed etc. I can't remember how it all started but now Baby gets five star treatment! Today at Nana's house Baby even went to the toilet.

A while after Baby went to the toilet Aston started to say "poo, poo" and ran to the bathroom, it seemed that he wanted to go to the toilet too. I put him on but nothing happened. I'm wondering if this means he's ready to start learning how to use the toilet.

I'm not sure I'm ready yet...


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Morning Conversation

Me: Aston, it's Sunday today, where do we go on Sunday?
Aston: Woo Woo
Me: no, we're not going on the train, we're going in the car. Where are we going?
Aston: moon!
Me: we're not going to the moon, we're going to church.
And what do we do after church?
Aston: lunch! Nom nom nom
Me: yes we have lunch and then what do we do after church?
Aston: Tah!
Me: yes, we see guitars at church but where do we go in the car after church?
We go and see Nana
Aston: NANA!


!


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18 months of learning...

I am constantly amazed at the things Aston has learnt in just 18 months (well 17 months and a couple of weeks). He's gone from a squirming little blob like thing to an upright walking talking little boy!

It's his talking that amazes me most at the moment. Everyday he says a new word or two and he uses them in completely the right context!

Last week he found a straw in one of the kitchen draws and said 'straw' I've never heard him say straw before and I couldn't even remember the last time he'd even seem a straw! He managed to outdo himself the next day by pointing to a strawberry top and saying 'straw berry'.

The strange thing is that he seems to have forgotten his first words, he used to point at things and say 'look', now he points at things and says the word or, in the case of animals, makes the appropriate sound.


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Barneys Seven Churches Walk

The Spires are walking to help rebuild Barneys! Our church has been without a permanent home for over 4 years!

Click here to find out more and sponsor us!

Time for a new look

Enjoy :-)

Aston learns to sleep

I thought after my last post I'd come back and update you on Aston's sleeping progress, amazingly he is doing really well! He now goes to sleep most nights within 10mins of being put in his cot without crying and sleeps until 5-7am! It's still quite strange but really nice.

So, what did we do?

I'd worked out quite a while ago that Aston's main issue was based around his sleep association with breastfeeding - basically, he didn't know how to go to sleep unless he was feeding. This meant I was feeding him to sleep, putting him in his cot and leaving the room without him realising. Every time he woke during the night he would freak out because mummy had disappeared, he was alone in the dark and couldn't get back to sleep without a breastfeed. To add to the problem this also meant he was afraid to go to sleep or be alone in his cot awake because every time he went to sleep mummy disappeared. This meant bedtimes were often 1-2 hours of crying, multiple breastfeeds and frantic rushing about (he refused to stay still) until he would eventually fall asleep on the breast completely exhausted, only to wake a few hours later crying for a feed.

After reading a number of books and websites, I tried so many different things to try and calm him before bedtime and stop him needing to breastfeed to sleep, a few methods would work for a little while but soon he would regress again. We got to the point where I was willing to give up on all my ideals and just let Aston cry himself to sleep.

Enter 'Dreambaby Guide' - I had seen the author Sheyne Rowley on Sunrise and she hadn't impressed me all that much but she made great claims about teaching babies to sleep without using controlled crying. I checked out her website, again, not terribly impressive but i decided to borrow her book from the library and see what she had to say.

The book is quite thick, possibly because she often repeats herself but I did manage to find a few things in it that seemed to make sense. The basic methodology is here. We haven't followed her method to the letter, her focus on routine is very strict and just doesn't fit into our way of life and I'm not convinced by a lot of the things she has to say about food and restricting breastfeeding.

We spent a few weeks (as long as it took to read the book) doing our homework which included:

• Using preemptive language and developing cues for Aston eg. "very soon it will be time to change your nappy/go to sleep in your cot" etc, being careful to use the same words every time ie. not "change your nappy' one day and then "get clean pants on" the next so Aston always knows what's happening next and doesn't get upset because he's happy playing and I pick him up and dump him on the change table with no warning.
• Developing independent play - helping Aston learn it was ok for him to be by himself in the cot or just playing with his toys. I use the cue "I'll be back" before I leave the room so he knows I am leaving and will come back. We spent time with him playing in his cot and leaving him for longer periods of time on his own.
• Creating a new bedtime routine, before each sleep we have a breastfeed, read some stories, (at nighttime we pray) in the lounge room then we go into Aston's room with the light off, shut the door, sing "Jesus loves you", put him in his cot, say our sleepy cues "close your eyes and go to sleep, mummy and daddy love you, nigh night Aston" then I (or Stuart) leave the room and shut the door.
• We also have a wake up routine, this helps to lessen confusion about when it's time to get up so Aston knows he won't be taken out of the cot every time he cries. He only gets to leave the cot after mummy says "Good sleeping Aston" and he plays on his own with his toys for a little while. (There are always exceptions of course but this is the general rule.)
  
• We role played his new routine with a teddy twice a day for a week, again so Aston was aware of what was happening and got used to the new routine.

Then we put it all into practice. I was surprised the first time we tried at how much crying there was, on my first reading of the book Sheyne made it sound so simple and easy, so i read the sections on crying again and reading between the lines realised I should have expected it. However, talking to others who have used controlled crying, the amount of crying we experienced was minimal. Throughout it all I was fairly confident that Aston knew what was going on and didn't feel abandoned by Stuart and I but it was still hard to hear him cry.

This article by Sheyne was quite helpful in putting crying in perspective. She says that as parents we need to teach our children that it's ok to express themselves and to deal with their emotions, if we run to them every time they cry they learn that they can't cope with life unless mummy and daddy are there to help, or that they shouldn't express themselves when they feel upset or angry because somehow it's wrong to cry. On the other hand if we leave them to cry when they are very distressed or hurt then this makes them feel abandoned and alone. It's all about assessing why and how they are crying and determining what to do next.

So almost three weeks after we have started this adventure, it seems to be working, the first night, involved about and hour of crying before Aston fell asleep and a few sessions of 10min crying throughout the night. Over the weeks the initial crying has gone and Aston can put himself to sleep easily. We've had a few nights of wake ups in the early hours of the morning, we've found that Sheyne's method of letting Aston cry and repeating his sleepy words doesn't seem to work - I think, despite what she says that he is genuinely hungry. When it does happen I've been giving him a breastfeed and putting him in his cot awake and he seems a lot happier. However for the past three or four nights he hasn't woken up and I'm hoping that will continue.

Now to find an appropriately cute photo to add to this post :-)

Sleep Baby Sleep

Tonight we have begun 'Operation Sleep Through the Night' in an attempt to get Aston, who is now one, to sleep for more than 4 hours at a stretch. Over the past year I have a lot of time to think about, research and observe baby sleep, something I didn't think I would ever need to do.

I've been trying to work out why it's such an issue, talk to any parent and they will tell you about the stresses and guilts that surround every thought and every conversation they have about how well or not so well their baby is sleeping. I'm not sure why it has become such a big issue in our western world.

It is one of the first questions you are asked when you reveal you have a small child who has just entered into the world. 'Is he a good baby?' 'Does he sleep well?' This is always followed by the slight pause where I try and decide if it's better to lie, downplay the fact that Aston doesn't sleep, or use his sleeplessness to extract pity and sympathy from whoever I'm talking to. If that person has a child of similar age it often feels as though there is some sort of competition to determine whose baby is the best or worst sleeper, (both of these positions gain points in someone's world but you earn no points for being somewhere in the middle).

As you are barely functioning in a sleep deprived haze, trying to cope with the pressure (or more often in my case, perceived pressure) of others expectations, you turn to the professionals for advice. Dr Sears, Pinky Mckay, Tizzie Hall, Elizabeth Pantley, Sheyne Rowley and more. Instead of clearing the haze, confusion and guilt, often this just adds to it. You should let your baby cry, you should never let your baby cry, co-sleeping is good, co-sleeping is bad, don't breastfeed your baby to sleep, do breastfeed your baby to sleep... And then there are the very helpful people who say it doesn't matter what you do, just do what's right for you and your baby. Um, hello, I was looking for help because I don't know what's right!

Having arrived at the point where we decided crying is not the way we want Aston to remember being put to sleep I believe we have tried almost everything. A belief that is reinforced every time I find a new baby sleep site online that tells me to: play music, co-sleep, put him in the cot awake, rock him to sleep, let him cry for 5mins, give him a bedtime routine, make sure he naps well during the day, etc etc.

One thing I do need to say before I go on is something most of the above experts agree on, despite the pressure you get from others, your baby's sleeping habits are not a problem unless you think they are. If you and our baby are able to cope with waking at night, co-sleeping, rocking to sleep or any other thing someone else thinks is 'wrong' then you don't have a problem. Unfortunately we have come to a place where we can not cope.

Tonight we started Sheyne Rowley's DreamBaby method, it's based on communication and seems to make sense, although following her method to the letter means a very strict sleeping and eating routine. She claims her method is not a 'crying method' but it does involve some crying, the difference being the amount of 'homework' done beforehand in order to establish boundaries, clear expectations, independence and confidence in your baby before leaving them to cry alone in their cot.

According to her definitions Aston cried 'angry', 'calling out' and 'settling' cries for around an hour before finally falling asleep. At appropriate moments I 'attended' to let Aston know that he was ok and I am confident he can fall asleep on his own. He missed 2 'sleep buses'* before finally catching a 3rd one and falling asleep. He woke an hour after falling asleep, cried an 'angry' cry for around 5 mins which became a 'calling out' cry for 2 mins until he caught the partial waking 'sleep bus' and required no 'attendance' from mummy. He has now been asleep for another hour or so since then.

Will it work? Who knows, I'm hoping and praying it does... I'll try and remember to keep you posted...

*Sheyne says when a baby is trying to self settle to sleep there will be brief periods of 3-8mins where it is easier for them to get to sleep. If they miss that 'bus' they need to wait 20 mins or so for the next bus to come before they can fall asleep.

Testing

I've downloaded a new iPhone app for blogging, hopefully it means I'll blog more often...

Let's see how well it works, here's a picture just for fun :-)



Aston in the kitchen of our new house with a yoghurt lid stuck to his head!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thankfulness

I am thankful I live in a country where:

• My father could obey God's calling to become a minister of a small church who could not afford to pay him and know that God would provide for his family's medical needs through our healthcare system.
• I was able to defer the very small cost of attending university so that I could concentrate on my studies and my ministry without having to work long tiring hours as well.
• While still a student I was able to receive emergency treatment after a car accident for free without having to stress about paying for a week's stay in hospital and various other medical expenses.
• A mentally ill homeless man who lived outside our church and repeatedly refused help received thousands of dollars worth of medical care after becoming seriously ill, his physical health was restored, his mental illness was diagnosed and now he is off the streets and a fully functioning member of society.
• One of my friends whose husband became ill and could not work was able to continue her ivf treatment under medicare and fall pregnant while her husband received the medical treatment he needed and was supported by the government while taking time off work to completely recover - he is now working full time again and they are expecting a baby soon.
• I can work in full time Christian ministry and know that even though I am on a low salary, God provides for me through medicare and family assistance payments, that enable me to take time off to look after my baby.

I am thankful I live in a country that cares about those who can not help themselves, I know the system is not perfect, that people fall through the cracks, that often the system is abused but far better that than for there to be no help at all...

Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. ¹⁶If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?

James 2:15-17 (the Bible)

Aston's Favourite iPhone Apps

So, it's never to early to introduce babies to technology - right? Particularly such cool technology as an iPhone?

Aston's love of iPhones happened kind of accidentally, it all started with iRisataBaby. While I was pregnant I was searching for apps that had something to do with babies and came across this one, it's a picture of a baby that laughs when you touch it, it was free so I downloaded it to see what it was like. When Aston was about one month old I showed him the baby and tried to teach him how to make it laugh, he had issues trying to touch the screen but he loved looking at the baby. Now he knows how to make it laugh and he laughs and talks to the baby in the iPhone.

Inspired by Aston's love of iRisataBaby I went looking for more noisy baby apps, his

newest favourite is Touch Teach Animal Sounds Lite in which you can scroll through cartoon pictures of animals and listen to recorded sounds. He really likes the monkey sound.

The other favourite app is Baby Activity Logger it's one of my favourites too, I'd be lost without it. I use it to keep track of Aston's eating and sleeping patterns, often my brain is too foggy to remember how much sleep he had last night or even when he last ate so being able to easily track it is really helpful. Aston likes staring at the log screen which has a cartoon picture of a bottle, nappy, baby and a moon, he looks at it and laughs. Stuart thinks he likes it because he associates it with food.

Aston has learnt that mummy's phone has lots of fun things on it and will often reach for it if he sees it lying around. iPhone play requires supervision though, as all fun toys must be tasted and drooled on - not sure my iPhone warranty covers damage from baby play...

It's been a while

Wow, Aston is now 4 months old - it feels like so much has happened and yet not much has happened all at the same time...

I have neglected this blog page, I seem to spend much more time on Facebook and Twitter than blogging, mostly because I can access them on my iphone whereas blogging via iphone is a bit more tricky.

Believe it or not I'm back at work 2 days a week and so far (2 days) it seems to be working. Aston gets to hang out with Daddy on Mondays and with Aunty Belinda on Tuesdays so he is happy. FOr more about my work with Credo check out my AFES page

Hopefully I'll come back and blog a bit more often...

Being a Mum

It's been 3 weeks and 3 days since Aston was born and I'm learning a lot about being a mum. In some ways it's incredibly normal and I can't imagine not doing it, in other ways it's pretty full on and tiring and scary!

The other night as I went to bed I said to Stu "I don't want to get up in the middle of the night" but the reality is I don't really have a choice, unless I want my child to cry and starve (I think you get arrested for that kind of stuff these days). And there's no way I could just lay there and let him cry, no matter how tired, sick or grumpy I feel there's something in your baby's cry that impels you to do something about it.

There are so many questions we have and decisions to make: decisions about when to feed him or what cream to put on his nappy rash, is it cold - should he wear a singlet? Should we use commercial bath products full of 'evil chemicals' or just water? We have moments where we both shrug and go "I don't know". If you know me, you know I'm not great and making decisions and I usually need someone to reassure me that I've made the right one - that doesn't always happen when you're on your own with a baby who is crying. Add tiredness into the mix and even the little decisions like should we use baby wipes or make our own out of cloth can become major moments of stress.

Stu's philosophy is "as long as you don't drop him on his head or kill him, it will be ok" which is true and I need to work hard on remembering that.

Now, to choose a photo to go with this post that shows off Aston's extreme cuteness!

Aston John Spires

Aston John Spires was born on Friday 20th March at 3.15pm. He weighs 4.4kg ad is 53cm long - Big Baby!

I went into spontaneous labour on Friday morning - no induction needed - praise God! I even managed to get through without pain relief, although Aston did need some help coming into the world with a little bit of suction to his head (not nice!).

So now we are at home learning how to be parents - very scary but fun!

The Latest

Today we are 8 days overdue! I didn't think we would last that long, obviously Jellybaby is not quite ready to enter the world of his own accord.

We had our 41 week "just-in-case" appointment yesterday at RPA and they are very keen to make sure babies are born before they hit 42 weeks, as a result we are booked in for an induction tomorrow morning at 7am.

I have mixed feelings about being induced, on one hand it's exciting to know that soon we will see our baby and the craziness and uncomfortableness of the last few weeks will be over. On the other hand, induction can be quite a shock to your body and the baby which can make labour a lot more intense and harder to deal with. Depending on what method of induction I end up needing, I may be strapped to a monitor for the whole time which means being unable to move around or use the shower or bath for pain relief - something I was really keen on doing.

I'm praying for calmness mostly, I know I can get very flustered when I'm in an unknown situation and would really like to feel a little bit in control and to be able to ask good questions and make good decisions.