Advent (Day 25) It's Christmas day!

With Nana :-)





"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. "Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world,
but in order that the world might be saved through him. (John 3:16-17)

Happy Birthday Jesus!

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Advent (Day 24)

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, in order to redeem those who were under the
law, so that we might receive adoption as children.
(Gal 4:4-5)




The blurry thing in Aston's hand is a My First Christmas baby dog tree ornament. Grandma gave it to Aston last year.


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Advent (Day 23)

We had trouble getting a decent photo today... Here we are with Aunty Belinda



And having been warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they left for their own country by another road. (Matt 2:12)



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Advent (Day 22)

On entering the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother; and they knelt down and paid him homage. Then, opening their treasure chests, they offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
(Matt 2:11)





With Aunty Liz :-)

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Advent (Day 21)

Today we are at Grandma and Grandpa's!

When they had heard the king, they set out; and there, ahead of them, went the star that they had seen at its rising, until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw that the star had stopped, they were overwhelmed with joy. (Matt 2:9-10)



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Advent (Day 20)

Then Herod secretly called for the wise men and learned from them the exact time when the star had appeared. Then he sent them to Bethlehem,
saying, "Go and search diligently for the child; and when you have found him, bring me word so that I may also go and pay him homage." (Matt 2:7-8)




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Advent (Day 19)

They told him, "In Bethlehem of Judea; for so it has been written by the prophet: 'And you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for from you shall come a ruler
who is to shepherd my people Israel.'" (Matt 2:5-1)




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Who's in the tank (4)

The plant has flowered! I've never seen an aquarium plant flower before.





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Advent (Day 18)

When King Herod heard this, he was frightened, and all Jerusalem with him; and calling together all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Messiah was to be born.
(Matt 2:3-4)



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Advent (Day 17)

In the time of King Herod, after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea, wise men from the East came to Jerusalem, asking, "Where is the child who has been born king of the Jews? For we observed his star at its
rising, and have come to pay him homage." (Matt 2:1-2)

Advent (Day 16)

After eight days had passed, it was time to circumcise the child; and he was called Jesus, the name given by the angel before he was conceived in the womb. (Luke 2:21)

Stuart spent ages last night checking the lights on the tree one by one to see which were blown! He replaced 10 bulbs!

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Advent (Day 15)

...and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured all these words and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them. (Luke 2:18-20)




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Advent (Day14)

I'm starting to realise I should have put more thought into which character goes with which verse.

Today we met a Wise Man



So they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the child lying in the manger. When they saw this, they made known what had been told them about this child…(Luke 2:16-17)

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Advent (Days 12 & 13)

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace among those whom he favors!" (Luke 2: 13-14)


When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let us go now to Bethlehem and see this thing that has taken place, which the Lord has made known to us." (Luke 2:15)

Advent (Day 11)

Stuart got the present from the calendar today as it's his birthday :-)




But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for see--I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a child wrapped in bands of cloth and lying in a manger." (Luke 2:10-12)

There was also a shepherd boy to add to the nativity scene.



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Advent (Day10)

In that region there were shepherds living in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. (Luke 2:8-9)







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Advent (Day 9)

Today we have a video taken with my new iPhone4! (edited by Stuart)

While they were there, the time came for her to deliver her child. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in bands of cloth, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn. (Luke 2:6-7)

Advent (Day 8)

The blurry thing in Aston's hand is Mary.

All went to their own towns to be registered. Joseph also went from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to the city of David called Bethlehem, because he was descended from the house and family of
David. He went to be registered with Mary, to whom he was engaged and who was expecting a child. (Luke 2:3-5)

Advent (Day 7)

Today we got to meet Joseph (aka to Aston as Jofess)





But you, O Bethlehem of Ephrathah, who are one of the little clans of Judah, from you shall come forth for me one who is to rule in Israel, whose origin is from of old, from ancient days. (Micah 5:2)
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Advent (Day 6)

In those days a decree went out from Emperor Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration and was taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria. (Luke 2:1-2)



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Advent (Day 5)

Last night while Aston was asleep, we put up the Christmas tree. He was suitably impressed this morning.

"ooh, wow, pretty!"

Today we put the star from the calendar on the tree.




When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord
commanded him; he took her as his wife, but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son; and he named him Jesus. (Matt 1:24-25)

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Advent (Day 4)

Today Aston asked to "look calendar" it's exciting to see that he is looking forward to our morning ritual.





All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord
through the prophet: "Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel," which means, "God is with us." (Matt 1:22-23)

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Advent (Day 3)

She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins. (Matt 1:21)


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Advent (Day 2)

Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly. But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. (Matt 1:19-20)


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Advent (Day 1)

Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. (Matt 1:18)



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Advent

This is our new advent calendar, I bought one for a friend and liked it so much I decided to buy one for us. (And thanks to the nice man at Kikki K Broadway, I got both for 20% off and possibly the very last one in stock in Australia).

I don't know much about Advent, I really like Byron's explanation here, and I think using the calendar each year will be helpful for us to remember that Christmas is about Jesus and not stress, presents and craziness.

In each pocket there is a bible verse telling part of the Christmas story and a piece of a nativity scene or a decoration for the Christmas tree.

I'm planning on blogging our advent adventure each day so that you can all join in :-)

"So Christmas presents are kind of like birthday presents, Elmo never thought of that"

Who is in the tank? (3)

Ancistrus cf_cirrhosus

This is Mr Bristlenose, you can see he has lots of tentacles on his nose, Mrs Bristlenose also lives in our tank, she has only a few small tentacles. The Bristlenose's like to hide, they hide in the piece of driftwood under the plants, they hide behind the statue, they even move ornaments and dig under the gravel to create new hiding places!

They have big sucker mouths and use them to stick to the glass or the statue and the underside of the leaves.


I think the Bristlenose's are very cool.

In other fish news - we have babies!!!! I noticed them hiding amongst the leaves of the plants a couple of days ago...

First Casualty

Warning: this post contains images that may disturb some viewers

Last week I noticed one of the fish was swimming strangely, it seemed to be struggling to stay upright. On closer inspection I discovered it was quite bloated and had a large bruise on it's belly.

A while later when I looked in the tank the sick fish had disappeared. I thought it may have gotten stuck on one of the plants or rocks and knew I should look for it but it was late and I was tired...

The next day I found this




I'm pretty sure the dead or dying fish was discovered by one of the catfish who was excited to have such a yummy snack!

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Is My Brain Being Rewired?

I've noticed lately that my attention span is shrinking, I get increasingly bored when I have to do something for more than 2 minutes at a time. I sometimes even struggle to watch a half hour, not very intense, TV show, which means trying to concentrate on important things like sermons and conversations with friends is a real feat.

Some would say that perhaps it's "baby brain" I've heard that can stay with you for years and years after pregnancy and kids and there probably is some truth to that. It's definitely hard to concentrate on a conversation when Aston is in the room wanting attention or doing something he shouldn't.

I mentioned my problem to Stuart who suggested that part of the cause may be due to my constant iPhone usage. I love my iPhone, it has so many fun apps on it I don't ever have to be bored, I can even play games with my friends who also have iPhones, (Words with Friends is a favourite at the moment).

According to this article by Nicholas Carr, as you spend time jumping from one thing to another on the web, a computer or iPhone your brain rewires itself to get used to quick topic changes and notice distractions. This is great when you need to find something quickly on the web but not so good if you need to read and concentrate on a big slab of text. This article in the New York Times says that only 3% of people can effectively multitask and actually process what they are taking in. They profile a guy who is always on his computer, iPad or iPhone and is so bombarded with information he forgets things and has missed really important emails and messages - I felt quite sad reading about him and his family.

So, I think it's time to take some action, I've come up with a few ideas to decrease the jumpy-ness of my iPhone usage, feel free to add suggestions.

1. I won't use my phone or the computer while eating with Aston, or when he's in the bath, or when I've said I will play with him
2. I've turned off the push notifications for my email, Facebook, eBay and Words with Friends
3. I won't use my phone while watching TV (unless it's live TV and there is a really long ad break - which doesn't happen often as we mostly watch things that have been recorded).
4. I will read long articles and blog posts slowly, I've noticed that I often skim read and my eyes rush to the end of the page before my brain has really taken in what I've read.
5. I think (although I haven't completely decided on this one) I shall deactivate my Twitter account
6. I will embark on an intensive Facebook friend cull
7. I will try to only check Facebook on my phone every 2 hours
8. I have started a Bible Reading Plan, that means I will read the whole bible in a year, to do this I need to read 2-3 chapters at a time so hopefully as well as getting to know God more I will also be increasing my ability to concentrate

Well, this was a long post but I managed to concentrate for the whole thing. Perhaps writing it while procrastinating at work made concentrating a bit easier (sorry Paul).

Who is in the tank? (2)

These little guys are Black Neon Tetra's they tend to stick together and seem to be a bit calmer than most of the other fish in the tank.





The majority of my fish are guppies, on the right you can see some female guppies swimming around, they are bigger and not as pretty as the male guppies. You can see a couple of male guppies in the photo below (sorry it's not a very good photo). They have big colourful fan tails and fins.



There are 16 guppies in the tank, 2
of them are babies - apparently female guppies are always pregnant! I hope these ones don't breed too often, I'm not sure my tank can cope with two many more fish!

My next goal is to take a decent photo of the two catfish and write a post about them. It may take a while as they are very good at hiding!

First water change

I've just performed a small water change, it's been 6 days since the fish were introduced into the tank and all the stats are looking good. Thankfully so are the fish! They tried to eat my fingers as I was holding the siphon in the water, it's a very strange feeling having fish nibble your fingers.

Fish stats
15/10
pH 10.4
NH3 0ppm
NO2 0.25ppm
Fish introduced

17/10
pH 9.6
NH3 0ppm
NO2 0.25ppm

21/10
pH 9.6
NH3 0ppm
NO2 0ppm
Water change

Ideally the pH could be a bit lower but 9.6 is ok, I'll keep an eye on it and see how it goes.

I think buying the used gravel helped in starting off the biological filter. Ammonia levels at 0 mean that the fish waste had been converted to nitrite. Today's nitrite level was 0 which means the second part of the biological filter has kicked in. Yay for bacteria :-)

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Who is in the tank?

This morning I've been attempting to take pictures of the fishies - it's a bit tricky as I have an old digital camera that doesn't have a lot of settings to play with. I will gradually post some of the photos that look ok.

This little guy is a Southern Platyfish, he is the only one in the tank and is a funky red colour with a black splodge on his middle.

Fish - Day One

I set up the tank a few days ago, I was a bit worried that there wouldn't be enough time for the water to mature or cycle properly before I had to out the fish in. So, in order to help the whole process get started I bought some used gravel from the pet shop, the gravel should already be home to some of the bacteria needed to get biological filtration happening and give the tank a head start. I also bought a carbon sponge and added that to the regular sponge in the filter, the carbon should help to neutralise any toxic chemicals, a job the biological filter will do once it matures.

Above is the tank with no fish, the plant in the middle is a new addition today, it came from the same tank as my new fishies.

I think there are now 22 fish in the tank, most of them are guppies, 2 are really cool catfish (I need to do a bit of research to find out what types) and there are a few others I'm not sure of. Stay tuned for updates as I work out what they are.

Here are the fish in their bags waiting to be released. I let the bags float in the water for a while so they got used to the new temperature, then I put some of the water from the tank into the bags so the fish have a chance to get used to the new water.

Now they are all in their new home and hopefully happy. I don't have a photo of them as it's too dark to take one but I will upload one soon,

Fish!

Those of you who know me will know that I have a soft spot in my heart for fish, not eating fish, but any fish I can watch swimming around doing it's thing in the water. I have, at various times kept fish in a tank inherited from some friends years ago.

Earlier this year our last surviving goldfish Nemo died. Since then we have wanted to buy some more fish but haven't managed to her around to it. Last week one of my friends posted on Facebook that she had some fish that nobody wanted and she was thinking of euthanasing them. Knowing we had a tank sitting in the garage waiting to be filled again and not liking the thought of a few little fishies dying because they were unwanted, I offered to take them.

I thought it might be fun (and slightly nerdy) to document for you all the progress of my new tank of fish so, here goes...

Toilet training?

Today Aston asked me to change his nappy a number of times (even when it didn't need changing). He's never asked me to change his nappy before, usually he fights and protests when I suggest it but today he came up to me, said "change" and was quite happy to lie down on the floor and have his nappy changed.

We also had to change Baby's nappy.Baby is a Teddy that Aston has been treating like a baby- changing his nappy, giving him pretend baths, putting him to bed etc. I can't remember how it all started but now Baby gets five star treatment! Today at Nana's house Baby even went to the toilet.

A while after Baby went to the toilet Aston started to say "poo, poo" and ran to the bathroom, it seemed that he wanted to go to the toilet too. I put him on but nothing happened. I'm wondering if this means he's ready to start learning how to use the toilet.

I'm not sure I'm ready yet...


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Morning Conversation

Me: Aston, it's Sunday today, where do we go on Sunday?
Aston: Woo Woo
Me: no, we're not going on the train, we're going in the car. Where are we going?
Aston: moon!
Me: we're not going to the moon, we're going to church.
And what do we do after church?
Aston: lunch! Nom nom nom
Me: yes we have lunch and then what do we do after church?
Aston: Tah!
Me: yes, we see guitars at church but where do we go in the car after church?
We go and see Nana
Aston: NANA!


!


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18 months of learning...

I am constantly amazed at the things Aston has learnt in just 18 months (well 17 months and a couple of weeks). He's gone from a squirming little blob like thing to an upright walking talking little boy!

It's his talking that amazes me most at the moment. Everyday he says a new word or two and he uses them in completely the right context!

Last week he found a straw in one of the kitchen draws and said 'straw' I've never heard him say straw before and I couldn't even remember the last time he'd even seem a straw! He managed to outdo himself the next day by pointing to a strawberry top and saying 'straw berry'.

The strange thing is that he seems to have forgotten his first words, he used to point at things and say 'look', now he points at things and says the word or, in the case of animals, makes the appropriate sound.


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Barneys Seven Churches Walk

The Spires are walking to help rebuild Barneys! Our church has been without a permanent home for over 4 years!

Click here to find out more and sponsor us!

Time for a new look

Enjoy :-)

Aston learns to sleep

I thought after my last post I'd come back and update you on Aston's sleeping progress, amazingly he is doing really well! He now goes to sleep most nights within 10mins of being put in his cot without crying and sleeps until 5-7am! It's still quite strange but really nice.

So, what did we do?

I'd worked out quite a while ago that Aston's main issue was based around his sleep association with breastfeeding - basically, he didn't know how to go to sleep unless he was feeding. This meant I was feeding him to sleep, putting him in his cot and leaving the room without him realising. Every time he woke during the night he would freak out because mummy had disappeared, he was alone in the dark and couldn't get back to sleep without a breastfeed. To add to the problem this also meant he was afraid to go to sleep or be alone in his cot awake because every time he went to sleep mummy disappeared. This meant bedtimes were often 1-2 hours of crying, multiple breastfeeds and frantic rushing about (he refused to stay still) until he would eventually fall asleep on the breast completely exhausted, only to wake a few hours later crying for a feed.

After reading a number of books and websites, I tried so many different things to try and calm him before bedtime and stop him needing to breastfeed to sleep, a few methods would work for a little while but soon he would regress again. We got to the point where I was willing to give up on all my ideals and just let Aston cry himself to sleep.

Enter 'Dreambaby Guide' - I had seen the author Sheyne Rowley on Sunrise and she hadn't impressed me all that much but she made great claims about teaching babies to sleep without using controlled crying. I checked out her website, again, not terribly impressive but i decided to borrow her book from the library and see what she had to say.

The book is quite thick, possibly because she often repeats herself but I did manage to find a few things in it that seemed to make sense. The basic methodology is here. We haven't followed her method to the letter, her focus on routine is very strict and just doesn't fit into our way of life and I'm not convinced by a lot of the things she has to say about food and restricting breastfeeding.

We spent a few weeks (as long as it took to read the book) doing our homework which included:

• Using preemptive language and developing cues for Aston eg. "very soon it will be time to change your nappy/go to sleep in your cot" etc, being careful to use the same words every time ie. not "change your nappy' one day and then "get clean pants on" the next so Aston always knows what's happening next and doesn't get upset because he's happy playing and I pick him up and dump him on the change table with no warning.
• Developing independent play - helping Aston learn it was ok for him to be by himself in the cot or just playing with his toys. I use the cue "I'll be back" before I leave the room so he knows I am leaving and will come back. We spent time with him playing in his cot and leaving him for longer periods of time on his own.
• Creating a new bedtime routine, before each sleep we have a breastfeed, read some stories, (at nighttime we pray) in the lounge room then we go into Aston's room with the light off, shut the door, sing "Jesus loves you", put him in his cot, say our sleepy cues "close your eyes and go to sleep, mummy and daddy love you, nigh night Aston" then I (or Stuart) leave the room and shut the door.
• We also have a wake up routine, this helps to lessen confusion about when it's time to get up so Aston knows he won't be taken out of the cot every time he cries. He only gets to leave the cot after mummy says "Good sleeping Aston" and he plays on his own with his toys for a little while. (There are always exceptions of course but this is the general rule.)
  
• We role played his new routine with a teddy twice a day for a week, again so Aston was aware of what was happening and got used to the new routine.

Then we put it all into practice. I was surprised the first time we tried at how much crying there was, on my first reading of the book Sheyne made it sound so simple and easy, so i read the sections on crying again and reading between the lines realised I should have expected it. However, talking to others who have used controlled crying, the amount of crying we experienced was minimal. Throughout it all I was fairly confident that Aston knew what was going on and didn't feel abandoned by Stuart and I but it was still hard to hear him cry.

This article by Sheyne was quite helpful in putting crying in perspective. She says that as parents we need to teach our children that it's ok to express themselves and to deal with their emotions, if we run to them every time they cry they learn that they can't cope with life unless mummy and daddy are there to help, or that they shouldn't express themselves when they feel upset or angry because somehow it's wrong to cry. On the other hand if we leave them to cry when they are very distressed or hurt then this makes them feel abandoned and alone. It's all about assessing why and how they are crying and determining what to do next.

So almost three weeks after we have started this adventure, it seems to be working, the first night, involved about and hour of crying before Aston fell asleep and a few sessions of 10min crying throughout the night. Over the weeks the initial crying has gone and Aston can put himself to sleep easily. We've had a few nights of wake ups in the early hours of the morning, we've found that Sheyne's method of letting Aston cry and repeating his sleepy words doesn't seem to work - I think, despite what she says that he is genuinely hungry. When it does happen I've been giving him a breastfeed and putting him in his cot awake and he seems a lot happier. However for the past three or four nights he hasn't woken up and I'm hoping that will continue.

Now to find an appropriately cute photo to add to this post :-)

Sleep Baby Sleep

Tonight we have begun 'Operation Sleep Through the Night' in an attempt to get Aston, who is now one, to sleep for more than 4 hours at a stretch. Over the past year I have a lot of time to think about, research and observe baby sleep, something I didn't think I would ever need to do.

I've been trying to work out why it's such an issue, talk to any parent and they will tell you about the stresses and guilts that surround every thought and every conversation they have about how well or not so well their baby is sleeping. I'm not sure why it has become such a big issue in our western world.

It is one of the first questions you are asked when you reveal you have a small child who has just entered into the world. 'Is he a good baby?' 'Does he sleep well?' This is always followed by the slight pause where I try and decide if it's better to lie, downplay the fact that Aston doesn't sleep, or use his sleeplessness to extract pity and sympathy from whoever I'm talking to. If that person has a child of similar age it often feels as though there is some sort of competition to determine whose baby is the best or worst sleeper, (both of these positions gain points in someone's world but you earn no points for being somewhere in the middle).

As you are barely functioning in a sleep deprived haze, trying to cope with the pressure (or more often in my case, perceived pressure) of others expectations, you turn to the professionals for advice. Dr Sears, Pinky Mckay, Tizzie Hall, Elizabeth Pantley, Sheyne Rowley and more. Instead of clearing the haze, confusion and guilt, often this just adds to it. You should let your baby cry, you should never let your baby cry, co-sleeping is good, co-sleeping is bad, don't breastfeed your baby to sleep, do breastfeed your baby to sleep... And then there are the very helpful people who say it doesn't matter what you do, just do what's right for you and your baby. Um, hello, I was looking for help because I don't know what's right!

Having arrived at the point where we decided crying is not the way we want Aston to remember being put to sleep I believe we have tried almost everything. A belief that is reinforced every time I find a new baby sleep site online that tells me to: play music, co-sleep, put him in the cot awake, rock him to sleep, let him cry for 5mins, give him a bedtime routine, make sure he naps well during the day, etc etc.

One thing I do need to say before I go on is something most of the above experts agree on, despite the pressure you get from others, your baby's sleeping habits are not a problem unless you think they are. If you and our baby are able to cope with waking at night, co-sleeping, rocking to sleep or any other thing someone else thinks is 'wrong' then you don't have a problem. Unfortunately we have come to a place where we can not cope.

Tonight we started Sheyne Rowley's DreamBaby method, it's based on communication and seems to make sense, although following her method to the letter means a very strict sleeping and eating routine. She claims her method is not a 'crying method' but it does involve some crying, the difference being the amount of 'homework' done beforehand in order to establish boundaries, clear expectations, independence and confidence in your baby before leaving them to cry alone in their cot.

According to her definitions Aston cried 'angry', 'calling out' and 'settling' cries for around an hour before finally falling asleep. At appropriate moments I 'attended' to let Aston know that he was ok and I am confident he can fall asleep on his own. He missed 2 'sleep buses'* before finally catching a 3rd one and falling asleep. He woke an hour after falling asleep, cried an 'angry' cry for around 5 mins which became a 'calling out' cry for 2 mins until he caught the partial waking 'sleep bus' and required no 'attendance' from mummy. He has now been asleep for another hour or so since then.

Will it work? Who knows, I'm hoping and praying it does... I'll try and remember to keep you posted...

*Sheyne says when a baby is trying to self settle to sleep there will be brief periods of 3-8mins where it is easier for them to get to sleep. If they miss that 'bus' they need to wait 20 mins or so for the next bus to come before they can fall asleep.